December 23rd, 2006


Note to self: Animal care directors at zoos are dumber than journalists.

Tiger mauls trainer at SF Zoo
SAN FRANCISCO - A 350-pound Siberian tiger that mauled an experienced San Francisco Zoo keeper so badly she could lose her arm had no history of violence, prompting an investigation into what led to the vicious attack. At least 50 visitors were at the zoo's big cat exhibit, called the Lion House, when the tiger, Tatiana, reached through her cage's iron bars and grabbed the keeper Friday afternoon, said Robert Jenkins, the zoo's director of animal care.

"We're still trying to figure out what happened and why it happened," Jenkins said.

These are the same people who pet stray dogs and don't look both ways before crossing the street -- then they can't figure out what went wrong.

Here's a possible explanation of what happened and why: It's a God damned tiger.